Badass of the week, teen girl kills terrorist leader - Zilvia.net Forums | Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Forum

sleep · 10-12-2009, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Abu Osama was a bad guy. For the last five years, this assault-rifle toting terrorist dick-monkey had tormented the Indian countryside, tearing shit up, blowing the hell out of innocent bystanders, and generally just epically wrecking the lives of anyone that thought they wanted a piece of 7.62 millimeter lead punched through their torsos at high velocity from the barrel of a Kalashnikov assault rifle. As if it wasn't bad enough that this irrationally-angry punk-ass bitch popped caps in people's stupid faces just for looking at him cross-eyed (and I heard he never washed his hands after using the restroom), this freedom-hating guerrilla jerkburger was also a commander in a particularly bastardly organization of anti-everything douche canoes known as Lashkar-e-Taiba - a notorious criminal organization that has claimed responsibility for everything from the horrific terrorist attacks in Mumbai to the 1993 World Trade Center bombings in New York City. Think of these guys as Al-Qaeda's AAA minor league affiliates, and Abu Osama was like the cleanup hitter on their all-time asshat squad. He was on many countries' Most Wanted Dillholes lists, and had a bounty on his carcass of about $6,000.

Well, on Monday, September 28th, 2009, Abu was wandering around the Jammu region of India, an ultra-rural province near the chaotic Kashmir region, just looking to have some fun by creating a bunch of murder-carnage for no reason other than to satisfy his raging death-boner. He knew about a cute girl that lived in this particular village he happened to be gracing with his sinister presence, so he decided to pay her a visit and ingratiate himself to her relatives by beating the holy living crapballs out of them with a large stick and dragging her off by her hair Neanderthal-style.

So, he got together five of his closest terrorist buddies, charged a clip into his AK-47, and went over to the humble farmhouse where 18 year-old Rukhsana Kauser lived. Abu politely knocked on her door, and greeted her loving father when he came out to see what was going on by jamming a gun barrel in his face:

WHAT UP I'VE COME TO BONE YOUR DAUGHTER

As you can probably imagine, Mr. Kauser wasn't all that thrilled about the idea of his daughter being carried off to serve as a harem girl in some kind of jacked-up terrorist swinger's club, so it's pretty understandable that he told this bitchtard to go hump a football. Unfortunately, this was just the answer Osama was looking for. He and his cronies immediately started pummeling the barf out of Mr. Kauser and his wife, because apparently when you're a big, tough, ass-wrecking terrorist commander the best way to prove how hardcore you are is by putting a posse of goons together, arming yourself to the teeth, and beating the shit out of a couple of defenseless farmers twice your age.

Well, 18 year-old Rukhsana Kauser wasn't far away – she and her 19 year-old brother had been hiding under the bed in her room, and they were now receiving a front-row seat to the severe beating of their parents at the hands of Rukhsana's soon-to-be terrorist rapist and five of his best friends. Needless to say, this didn't sit well. However, while staring across the room at six masked men carrying fully-automatic assault rifles would have left most people paralyzed by some combination of fear and/or pants-wetting hopelessness, Rukhsana Kauser felt no such compunction. She did what any real badass would have done in this situation – she got super fucking mecha pissed.

" I couldn’t bear my father’s humiliation...
I thought I should try the bold act of encountering militants before dying."

Rukhsana and her brother reached over and grabbed the first thing they could find – which just so happened to be a matching set of giant-ass hatchets – climbed out from under the bed, and charged forward in an effort to find out how these terrorist sons-of-a-bitches liked it when someone sucker-punched them in the throat with a heavy object when they weren't looking.

Dramatization.

Ruksana Kauser charged out, grabbed the notorious terrorist Abu Osama by his head, and in one badass judo MMA move slammed the back of his skull up against the wall of her living room with enough force to crack a cue ball. Then, as he was backed up against the wall, she smashed him with the axe (just for good measure). As he slowly started to slump down, badly jacked up by this brutally insane balls-out sneak-attack, Rukhsana reached down, grabbed his AK-47 assault rifle, and forcefully wrenched it out of his hands in one motion. Clutching the captured weapon in both hands, she cracked him in the face with the stock of the rifle, flipped it around, and unleashed a burst of automatic weapons fire that pumped twelve rounds into the criminal mastermind's head and torso at point-blank range, killing him instantly in a thick spray of crimson.

NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN
HO – HO – HO

Now these guys were fucked. They'd been caught off-guard, blindsided by a blur of whirling steel and awesomeness, and now found themselves being stared down by a really pissed-off teenage girl with an assault rifle. Rukhsana did her best Rambo impression and went off like Princess Vespa ouside the penal colony on the Planet Spaceball, spraying hot lead at anything moving in front of her and blasting the fail out of those jacknut terrorist dickfaces who foolishly thought they could come into her small farming village and treat her family like a particularly brutal round of whack-a-mole. In the few seconds that followed, she wounded two more terrorists, and sent the rest running outside the house looking for cover.

The terrorists tried to return fire, but Rukhsana wasn't having any of it. She and her brother (who had picked up a rifle that one of the militants dropped while bravely fleeing for his life) exchanged gunfire with these assfaces for a while before the masked bullies finally decided they'd crossed the wrong chick and beat a hasty retreat out of there as quickly as possible.

" I had never touched a rifle before this, let alone fired one -
but I had seen heroes firing in films and I tried the same way. Somehow I gathered courage."

Rukhsana Kauser is fucking awesome. This chick stood up to defend her family from some of the most notorious criminals in Northern India, and the result was akin to having the first Die Hard movie localized entirely within the confines of her living room. When the smoke cleared and the empty shell casings were swept away, she and her brother had fought off six terrorist by themselves, killing one and wounding a couple more. Abu Osama, one of the most dangerous criminals in the world, was lying dead at her feet. In addition to saving every member of her family, including herself, from certain death, she also managed to rid the universe of the closest thing to COBRA Commander that the international terrorist organization Lashkar-e-Taiba had to offer. She has since been relocated to a witness protection program, nominated for the highest award for civilian bravery offered by the Indian government, and awarded the $6,000 bounty that had been placed on the head of the fallen terrorist leader.

Rukhsana Kauser, shown here carrying the captured weapon.

deolio · 10-12-2009, 11:19 PM

i knew there had to be a cobra commander reference in there somewhere lol

total badass

DataXUnknown · 10-12-2009, 11:48 PM

Abu? Isn't that the name of that red parrot thing in Aladdin?

*DALAZ_68* · 10-13-2009, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DataXUnknown

Abu? Isn't that the name of that red parrot thing in Aladdin?

yes...yes it is

*revat619* · 10-13-2009, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DALAZ_68

yes...yes it is

No, Iago was the parrot.

Abu was Aladdin's monkey.

Aladdin was the shit.

That girl is a bad ass.

Persona · 10-13-2009, 12:32 AM

Grade A Badass, and the re-telling of the story had me actually LOL'ing out loud, my roommate just gave me a what the hell look.

ayuaddict · 10-13-2009, 03:23 AM

speaking of Aladdin.

i still think Jasmine is the hottest disney character ever.

jspaeth · 10-13-2009, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayuaddict

speaking of Aladdin.

i still think Jasmine is the hottest disney character ever.

That is a bold call. I would have to say it's a toss-up between her and Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Belle is beautiful, and very lady-like on screen, which means you know she likes to get freaky.

*DALAZ_68* · 10-13-2009, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayuaddict

speaking of Aladdin.

i still think Jasmine is the hottest disney character ever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspaeth

That is a bold call. I would have to say it's a toss-up between her and Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Belle is beautiful, and very lady-like on screen, which means you know she likes to get freaky.

omfg...u guys need pussy....ASAP...

and its all about fiona...atleast she was 3 dimensional

WISH ONE · 10-13-2009, 10:16 AM

what about Ariel?????or cinderella??? lol

that chick was a badass! all Rambo-spec!

**ThatGuy** · 10-13-2009, 10:26 AM

You guys are all wrong. Snow White is where it's at.

Just think about how BIG you'd be compared to 7 dwarfs!

Pank · 10-13-2009, 10:53 AM

i'm not sure if this means that barry has a midget fetish, or hates them. either way, its weird.

p.s. you guys are all idiots for forgetting about the fucking LITTLE MERMAID.
sea shell bra. Can get you fresh seafood WHENEVER you want.
combs hair with fork.
Dad is king of sea.

i see no downsides

edit:

Quote:

Originally Posted by WISH ONE

what about Ariel?????or cinderella??? lol

that chick was a badass! all Rambo-spec!

this guy knows what i'm talking about

zylvia213 · 10-13-2009, 11:10 AM

tough teenagers....

*brndck* · 10-13-2009, 06:54 PM

pix of this machine-gun wielding chick?

SexPanda · 10-13-2009, 07:08 PM

Hottest Disney character: Jasmine, hands down. Think about it... Oil money, lives in a giant ass castle, has a pet tiger... That spells winner in my book.

On a completely unrelated note... How the hell did we go from an AK slingin' teenage Indian wonderwoman to which Disney princess is the hottest?

sleep · 10-13-2009, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brndck

pix of this machine-gun wielding chick?

if you know how to click on a link.........

aziankingz · 10-13-2009, 07:55 PM

ariel is fucking hot haha

tricky_ab · 10-13-2009, 08:05 PM

*Slow clap* Great work....

HalveBlue · 10-13-2009, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pank

p.s. you guys are all idiots for forgetting about the fucking LITTLE MERMAID.

The Little Mermaid (aka Ariel) is cool and all...if you're willing to overlook the rather obvious fact that access to her vajayjay is limited due to the FISHTAIL-FOR-LEGS syndrome.

Therefor, Ariel is a serious contender for hottest Disney princess only if considered in post-op mermaid state.

Quote:

Can get you fresh seafood WHENEVER you want.

You can get seafood from ANY girl.

I LUV MY S13 · 10-13-2009, 11:33 PM

damn i give her props...i honestly dont think i would have been able to do all that...great reaction

deolio · 10-14-2009, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HalveBlue

The Little Mermaid (aka Ariel) is cool and all...if you're willing to overlook the rather obvious fact that access to her vajayjay is limited due to the FISHTAIL-FOR-LEGS syndrome.

doesn't she become a human or some shit aka more accessible jayjay? whatever, she's a redhead anyway. gross.

snow white is a pale coke head.

cinderella is obviously just a hairy bitch.

belle is always trippin on acid talking to forks and teacups.

and jasmine is a fat stoner up in the clouds on her carpet

miley cirus ftw

ayuaddict · 10-14-2009, 12:12 AM

with or without the wig?

***FaLKoN240*** · 10-14-2009, 12:16 AM

This would've been cool if it wasn't written in some "variant" Maddox story style.

A regular typical news article fashion would've sufficed.

When it's written like that, it's hard to get any good facts out of shit-

I mean the creativity.

ronmcdon · 10-14-2009, 01:16 AM

Only a $6,000 reward?!
No wonder the cheap bastard 'authorities' had such trouble finding the said terrorist.
The real atrocity imo, is that the Indian government can't even protect it's own ppl from clowns like this.

Good luck with India dealing with Pakistan (& friends) in the next couple of years.
I just hope it's not going to be another $$$ pit for the US.

zenki.life · 10-14-2009, 03:30 AM

how the fuck did this turn into a hot disney character thread? wtf?

ayuaddict · 10-14-2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zenki.life

how the fuck did this turn into a hot disney character thread? wtf?

well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by DataXUnknown

Abu? Isn't that the name of that red parrot thing in Aladdin?

Quote:

Originally Posted by revat619

No, Iago was the parrot.

Abu was Aladdin's monkey.

Aladdin was the shit.

That girl is a bad ass.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayuaddict

speaking of Aladdin.

i still think Jasmine is the hottest disney character ever.

in my defense, hot disney characters? come on...

*fliprayzin240sx* · 10-14-2009, 08:17 AM

Pictures of this girl with an AK-47 or it never happened...

PS: Disregard...found a picture of her...

sleep · 10-15-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FaLKoN240

This would've been cool if it wasn't written in some "variant" Maddox story style.

A regular typical news article fashion would've sufficed.

When it's written like that, it's hard to get any good facts out of shit-

I mean the creativity.

Did you read the original article?

There are several sources cited.

Links:

BBC News

IBN Live

Telegraph

sleep · 10-15-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zenki.life

how the fuck did this turn into a hot disney character thread? wtf?

tell me about it. It is kinda funny though.

The 2nd post turned this into a Disney porn thread......

dt-p88 · 10-15-2009, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleep

tell me about it. It is kinda funny though.

The 2nd post turned this into a Disney porn thread......

lmao!! its true

10-12-2009, 11:19 PM	#2
deolio Post Whore! Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Age: 35 Posts: 4,694 Trader Rating: (13) Rides Gallery: deolio Feedback Score: 13 reviews	i knew there had to be a cobra commander reference in there somewhere lol total badass __________________

10-13-2009, 12:32 AM	#6
Persona Zilvia Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Salt Lake City, UT Posts: 927 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Grade A Badass, and the re-telling of the story had me actually LOL'ing out loud, my roommate just gave me a what the hell look. __________________

10-13-2009, 10:16 AM	#10
WISH ONE Post Whore! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: orange county ca Posts: 2,738 Trader Rating: (13) Feedback Score: 13 reviews	what about Ariel?????or cinderella??? lol that chick was a badass! all Rambo-spec! __________________ PARTING/SELLING MY COUPE. PM ME.

10-13-2009, 10:26 AM	#11
ThatGuy Admin Asshole Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Retired Age: 44 Posts: 20,394 Trader Rating: (0) Rides Gallery: ThatGuy Feedback Score: 0 reviews	You guys are all wrong. Snow White is where it's at. Just think about how BIG you'd be compared to 7 dwarfs! __________________ "Speak softly,..." -Pres. Teddy Roosevelt "Be polite, be professional, ..." -Gen. James Mattis

10-13-2009, 11:10 AM	#13
zylvia213 Nissanaholic! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: LOST ANGELES Posts: 1,978 Trader Rating: (36) Rides Gallery: zylvia213 Feedback Score: 36 reviews	tough teenagers.... __________________

10-12-2009, 11:48 PM	#3
DataXUnknown Post Whore! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mission Viejo, CA Age: 34 Posts: 2,934 Trader Rating: (30) Rides Gallery: DataXUnknown Feedback Score: 30 reviews	Abu? Isn't that the name of that red parrot thing in Aladdin?

10-13-2009, 03:23 AM	#7
ayuaddict Post Whore! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Socal Age: 35 Posts: 4,017 Trader Rating: (9) Feedback Score: 9 reviews	speaking of Aladdin. i still think Jasmine is the hottest disney character ever.

10-13-2009, 07:08 PM	#15
SexPanda Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Where ever there is free beer Posts: 3,239 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Hottest Disney character: Jasmine, hands down. Think about it... Oil money, lives in a giant ass castle, has a pet tiger... That spells winner in my book. On a completely unrelated note... How the hell did we go from an AK slingin' teenage Indian wonderwoman to which Disney princess is the hottest? __________________ BRAND NEW GReddy PRofec E-01 EBC for sale, Cheap!

10-13-2009, 07:55 PM	#17
aziankingz Nissanaholic! Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: NYC Age: 40 Posts: 1,735 Trader Rating: (28) Feedback Score: 28 reviews	ariel is fucking hot haha

10-13-2009, 08:05 PM	#18
tricky_ab Post Whore! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: It's dark, and hell is hot! Posts: 9,414 Trader Rating: (23) Feedback Score: 23 reviews	Slow clap Great work....

10-13-2009, 11:33 PM	#20
I LUV MY S13 Post Whore! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Norwalk, Los Angeles Age: 34 Posts: 3,349 Trader Rating: (35) Rides Gallery: I LUV MY S13 Feedback Score: 35 reviews	damn i give her props...i honestly dont think i would have been able to do all that...great reaction __________________ -Jorge

10-14-2009, 12:12 AM	#22
ayuaddict Post Whore! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Socal Age: 35 Posts: 4,017 Trader Rating: (9) Feedback Score: 9 reviews	with or without the wig?

10-14-2009, 12:16 AM	#23
*FaLKoN240* Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: SoCal Temecula Posts: 16,885 Trader Rating: (73) Feedback Score: 73 reviews	This would've been cool if it wasn't written in some "variant" Maddox story style. A regular typical news article fashion would've sufficed. When it's written like that, it's hard to get any good facts out of shit- I mean the creativity. __________________ Best way to do business with me? Make your best offer FIRST.

10-14-2009, 01:16 AM	#24
ronmcdon Post Whore! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: beverly hills Age: 89 Posts: 4,260 Trader Rating: (6) Feedback Score: 6 reviews	Only a $6,000 reward?! No wonder the cheap bastard 'authorities' had such trouble finding the said terrorist. The real atrocity imo, is that the Indian government can't even protect it's own ppl from clowns like this. Good luck with India dealing with Pakistan (& friends) in the next couple of years. I just hope it's not going to be another $$$ pit for the US.

10-14-2009, 08:17 AM	#27
fliprayzin240sx Man w/ CTSV & a Car Seat Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Tampa Posts: 17,998 Trader Rating: (19) Rides Gallery: fliprayzin240sx Feedback Score: 19 reviews	Pictures of this girl with an AK-47 or it never happened... PS: Disregard...found a picture of her... __________________ If you think Zilvia has too many assholes... CLICK HERE!!!