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About oil - diffs are expensive enough that I'll go ahead and use the manufacturers oil. Keeps 'em quiet and gives me peace of mind.
As far as longevity - I've had my Tomei 2-way for a couple years now, and only notice a difference in performance after I changed the oil again this summer - I didn't realize how much quieter and how much better it grabs when you have fresh oil in it. Buy a good 2way, put some good oil in it, and forget about it - they all work so well you won't even realize it's there until you put the car into a slide and steer with the rear.
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